The tender mercies of poly

My first wife died in a car accident 25 years ago. One of my former partners and her husband drove through the night to be there for my kids and I. As poly people we open our hearts so much to more people and the chances for for loss are increased; but we also have the love of more people to see us through. When this former partner had a heart attack and herself died, I was able to be there for her husband. We were family.

The important thing in relationships

I think the important thing in relationships is they work for the people in the relationships. All the people touched by the relationship(s) need be treated with integrity. This requires honesty & communications. Everything else, mono, poly, sexual, asexual, friendship, family, business associates and any other labels and circumstances are just details.

Review: The Game Changer: A Memoir of Disruptive Love by Franklin Veaux

I really enjoyed Franklin Veaux's memoir. It was well written and intelligent. I would like to see more memoirs like this. Veaux takes us trough his journey toward Polyamory. I think Veaux is like a lot of us who did not turn to poly as something to try, but found in poly a description of who they already are. The principle of the book is that all people in relationships have rights. This includes those we would call "secondaries." The concept of spouses/partners having veto rights over secondaries is hurtful and demeaning and I totally agree with Veaux. I am so glad to have found this book. It's exciting to see these kind of poly memoirs being published. Veaux makes the case for poly being more than just an alternative lifestyle choice. In this book Veaux makes the case for poly being a respectable relationship orientation. Thank you Veaux for writing this book.

Thinking Anarchist Thoughts

My sweet friend Dana is afraid that at some point my wife Sofia will pull the plug on our relationship. Dana feels like there is a sword of damocles hanging over her and that wonderful connection we have. So far Sofia consents and has accepted her presence in my life, and the fact that we love each other, but is becoming more hesitant about it as we get older. I have assured Sofia I love her and intend to spend the rest of my life with her.
I recently finished reading The Game Changer: A Memoir of Disruptive Love by Franklin Veaux. That book introduced me to the relationship's bill of rights. The first of these is "to be free from coercion, violence and intimidation."
This applies to all relationships, no matter how we categorize them. This led me down a different path. Dana and I love each other but we have not had sex in decades.
We live far apart and I stay with her for a day or two every couple of months. I have been thinking for years about how to categorize this relationship. It's physically tender and emotionally intimate. I call it a romantic friendship. She has called it an emotional affair. Frankly, I am tired of applying labels that do not stick so well.
I am sliding more and more toward Relationship Anarchy.
I have assured my sweetie that if anybody, including my wife, attempts to veto and/or otherwise coerce me from seeing her; I will not be so manipulated. It's not the label that matters it's the love we share no matter how it's expressed.
I identify as poly and have lived a poly lifestyle in the past, but not so much now. My wife and sweetie identify as mono. Now I am thinking, should I identify as a relationship anarchist?
What do you think?