Deepak Chopra says, "Everyone is acting from his own level of consciousness." Everyone is in their own universe. One of my favorite parts of getting to know a new person is contemplating how they think. By learning about them you get a window into a new universe, their unique universe. To me that is the best part. Visiting that new universe.
When you first get to know someone, everything is information. We set a lunch date. When Anna asked where I wanted to meet for lunch I said, "I want you to pick." She said why? I said, "because where you would choose tells me a lot about you. It's data and I am not going to say more because it will skew the results."
She said, "I like that." She picked a crepe place that served wine, found a time that worked around her busy schedule. We were on, we had a date. I was like a kid waiting for Christmas. I know it was just lunch, but it felt like more and it was. I was going to visit Anna's universe...
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Monday, June 27, 2016
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
Timing is Everything
When I look back on falling for Anna I realize, I fell pretty hard. Generally, I know better. The younger version of me would have held back more, well maybe. This is Anna after all...
A lot of it was, and is, that she is freaking amazing! That spiritual connection thing we had, too, was pretty amazing. Since my current relationships were long established and full of old relationship energy (ORE) PRE/NRE was something that I hadn't experienced for a long, long time. Of course, she seemed really into me at the time too, that helped.
But, there was one more thing...timing.
Not long ago I turned 60. Those of you who are over 30, remember when you turned 30?
Sixty is 30 x 2 and I am not just talking about math. There is this little voice that goes off with aging that says, "maybe this will never happen again. Maybe I need to feel the crap out of this. Maybe I will never, ever, have anything this astounding, in this way, happen in my life again."
I didn't remember hearing that voice directly at that time. I don't think it was driving me. But, I can't deny it might have been there...
There was another timing issue that turned out to be much bigger than I first imagined. I had my kids very young. So I am at the grandkids stage. She had her kids later in life. Though she is not a whole super lot younger than me, she's younger and at a much different place in life. I have time and she is super busy and well...
Timing is everything.
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A lot of it was, and is, that she is freaking amazing! That spiritual connection thing we had, too, was pretty amazing. Since my current relationships were long established and full of old relationship energy (ORE) PRE/NRE was something that I hadn't experienced for a long, long time. Of course, she seemed really into me at the time too, that helped.
But, there was one more thing...timing.
Not long ago I turned 60. Those of you who are over 30, remember when you turned 30?
Sixty is 30 x 2 and I am not just talking about math. There is this little voice that goes off with aging that says, "maybe this will never happen again. Maybe I need to feel the crap out of this. Maybe I will never, ever, have anything this astounding, in this way, happen in my life again."
I didn't remember hearing that voice directly at that time. I don't think it was driving me. But, I can't deny it might have been there...
There was another timing issue that turned out to be much bigger than I first imagined. I had my kids very young. So I am at the grandkids stage. She had her kids later in life. Though she is not a whole super lot younger than me, she's younger and at a much different place in life. I have time and she is super busy and well...
Timing is everything.
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Tuesday, June 14, 2016
After Orlando
We can't let haters stop us from being who we are, loving who and how we love, enjoying our lives and speaking the truth, our truth, no matter what that is. That's what we have to do! We have come too far to let them slow us down. Haters are going to hate, sometimes even kill; but we are not going back in the closet.
Tuesday, June 7, 2016
PRE before NRE
According to wikipedia:
When you have such a new crush there is no way of knowing if the object of your new crush is going to be a new lover, a new friend or someone you will eventually block on Facebook.
To me this new potential relationship has an energy all its own. This energy derives from the mystery of not knowing what it is going to be. This is different from NRE (new relationship energy) and I am going to refer to it as PRE (pre-relationship energy). I prefer using the term PRE over NRE in this case, because technically at this stage you don't even know if you ever will be in a relationship together, much less what that relationship will be. The box has not yet been opened...
After meeting Anna I was hit with more PRE (or NRE if you prefer) than I imagined would be possible at 60. The flirting was intense between us. The bubble dreams were spewing like crazy. In preparation of what might be, I got tested. (Frankly, I needed to do that anyway and was already thinking about it.)
My friend Jim said I was like this whole different and ungrounded version of Sam. Buckle up Jim! It was going to be a hell of a fun ride, no matter how it might end.
My wife Sophia supported my crush, but neither of us had ever had a crush on someone else this intense in the decades we've been together. Sophia became hesitant and wary of what was going on, but she was wise to let it play out.
My relationships with my wife (and another partner Dana) have a totally different kind of energy. They both have decades of history. They have old relationship energy (ORE) and ORE has its own kind of super power coolness!
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Schrödinger's cat is a thought experiment, sometimes described as a paradox, devised by Austrian physicist Erwin Schrödinger in 1935... The scenario presents a cat that may be simultaneously both alive and dead, a state known as a quantum superposition, as a result of being linked to a random subatomic event that may or may not occur.A new crush is a lot like Schrödinger's cat. Basically this paradox says that until something is observed, it's state cannot be expressed as being one thing or another. It's a super power in that in this superposition it's not one possibility but the crush is, for a short time, all possibilities.
When you have such a new crush there is no way of knowing if the object of your new crush is going to be a new lover, a new friend or someone you will eventually block on Facebook.
To me this new potential relationship has an energy all its own. This energy derives from the mystery of not knowing what it is going to be. This is different from NRE (new relationship energy) and I am going to refer to it as PRE (pre-relationship energy). I prefer using the term PRE over NRE in this case, because technically at this stage you don't even know if you ever will be in a relationship together, much less what that relationship will be. The box has not yet been opened...
After meeting Anna I was hit with more PRE (or NRE if you prefer) than I imagined would be possible at 60. The flirting was intense between us. The bubble dreams were spewing like crazy. In preparation of what might be, I got tested. (Frankly, I needed to do that anyway and was already thinking about it.)
My friend Jim said I was like this whole different and ungrounded version of Sam. Buckle up Jim! It was going to be a hell of a fun ride, no matter how it might end.
My wife Sophia supported my crush, but neither of us had ever had a crush on someone else this intense in the decades we've been together. Sophia became hesitant and wary of what was going on, but she was wise to let it play out.
My relationships with my wife (and another partner Dana) have a totally different kind of energy. They both have decades of history. They have old relationship energy (ORE) and ORE has its own kind of super power coolness!
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Friday, June 3, 2016
Primary Numbers
In my life I have known only a few people who, when I met them, they were so unique I truly was surprised. I am saying this as a 60 year-old who has met a lot of people. These unique people, I can't compare them to anybody else. I think the older you get, the more people you have met, the rarer this is. It's like the distribution of primary numbers. At my age they are like large primary numbers, very rare & notable when you find them.
Anna is one of those people. Meeting her was like living the words of the Lady Gaga Song, "I've never seen one like that before... You amaze me!" I fell into deep crush almost immediately, an experience totally unexpected. I am not looking to "meet" anyone. I wasn't looking to do anything that night but meet an author I admired.
Instead I was hit by lightening and the chemistry was mutual. I got a copy of her book and she made sure I had her business card. I was crushing over her body, her mind, her soul, over the very fact that she existed on my planet.
Did I mention Anna is tall? Years ago I dated a woman, Kelly, the tallest woman I had dated up to that point. Kelly is considered tall for a woman. Kelly is four inches shorter than Anna. Kelly's husband was not much taller than Kelly. Kelly said she liked going out with me and being able to have her hair up and wear heals. Kelly did not feel she could do that with her husband.
Anna looks me straight in the eye. Anna rocks being tall! She wears heals, big hair and tells the world you will take me as I am! Anna is a warrior! This warrior, I could immediately see, is also tender. This warrior has a wonderful heart. I love that in a woman. This warrior is a sweetie.
I left mesmerized. Her book, an instant talisman, was in my hand. Let the online flirting begin, and did it ever, did it ever!
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Anna is one of those people. Meeting her was like living the words of the Lady Gaga Song, "I've never seen one like that before... You amaze me!" I fell into deep crush almost immediately, an experience totally unexpected. I am not looking to "meet" anyone. I wasn't looking to do anything that night but meet an author I admired.
Instead I was hit by lightening and the chemistry was mutual. I got a copy of her book and she made sure I had her business card. I was crushing over her body, her mind, her soul, over the very fact that she existed on my planet.
Did I mention Anna is tall? Years ago I dated a woman, Kelly, the tallest woman I had dated up to that point. Kelly is considered tall for a woman. Kelly is four inches shorter than Anna. Kelly's husband was not much taller than Kelly. Kelly said she liked going out with me and being able to have her hair up and wear heals. Kelly did not feel she could do that with her husband.
Anna looks me straight in the eye. Anna rocks being tall! She wears heals, big hair and tells the world you will take me as I am! Anna is a warrior! This warrior, I could immediately see, is also tender. This warrior has a wonderful heart. I love that in a woman. This warrior is a sweetie.
I left mesmerized. Her book, an instant talisman, was in my hand. Let the online flirting begin, and did it ever, did it ever!
< Previously in this thread | Next >
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