Is Monogamy vs Polyamory a binary?

People talk about Monogamy vs. Polyamory/Consensual Nonmonogamy like it's a binary, like you're one or the other. I reject that notion.

Any binary requires two definite observable states, like on or off. That's the metrics. But with non-monogamy vs. monogamy, what are your metrics? Is it sex? Is it love? There are a lot of people who are asexual, don't have sex, but consider themselves polyamorous. Asexual polyamory is a real thing. There are a lot of swingers, folks in "the lifestyle," for whom it's all about sex and not developing feelings.

Of course, you have to define "monogamy." Some folks define monogamy so strictly that friends of the attracted to gender are forbidden. Other folks consider themselves monogamous if they don't have sex with people other than their partner, but are okay with kissing, cuddling, etc. And then, you have to define sex...

Monoamorous is a word and is aptly used in the realm of feelings, Monoamorous vs. Polyamorous. I would add in the realm of sex, Monosexual vs. Polysexual? Can a person be Polyamorous and Monosexual? I believe so but it's seldom talked about, except maybe as an "emotional affair." But, is it an affair if it's consensual? 

Consensual Monogamy (CM)

I think we need to talk more about "CM." By that I mean Consensual Monogamy. CM is about enthusiastic consent first and another "C", communication. CM is about both parties agreeing on their definition of monogamy for their relationship and their boundaries. CM is a relationship agreement. CM requires a "hell yes!" CM is not just being the cultural normative default blah blah. CM is intentional, communicated and agreed to. It is lived energetically. For me when people talk about CNM, I want to hear monogamy spoken about the same way, enthusiastic consent first! 

Buckets

In our culture we tend to put relationships into buckets with labels like family, friends and lovers. What if we get rid of the labels we put on the buckets? What if each relationship was its own bucket, has its own boundaries and no label at all? Boundaries could change as situations change. Relationships could constantly evolve and set their own levels. Why not get rid of the buckets? Would that be chaos? Would that be relationship anarchy? What if, perhaps, there never were any buckets? What if, perhaps, the idea of buckets was always an illusion?