Camel Trips

“The two important things that I did learn were that you are as powerful and strong as you allow yourself to be, and that the most difficult part of any endeavour is taking the first step, making the first decision.”
― Robyn Davidson, Tracks

Tracks, the book by Robyn Davidson, was the right book at the right time in my life. It prepared me for my own camel trip (seemingly impossible task) when suddenly my life changed in a flash. It also taught me about the power of manifestation, about how you can be as powerful as you allow yourself to be, something I now call "being the witch." I did not have those words for it then, but it was a lesson I had to learn damn fast!

Camel Trips is a term I use for doing that really hard thing, like a woman's solo trek across 1700 miles of Australian outback. It can also be hiking the PCT (Pacific Crest Trail), or loosing weight, or leaving a bad relationship, or suddenly becoming a working single parent, or changing your gender identification, sexual or relationship orientation, coming out of the closet or leaving a bad job or facing the devastating loss from your life of a dear love.

My inspiration was Robyn Davidson's book Tracks. Wild, the book by Cheryl Strayed, is another such story. I am sure there are many many more.

Camel Trips are important. I believe we should not shy away from them. They are the stories of our lives that define us. Camel Trips are the forge. We emerge from them changed from iron to steel. They teach us we are as strong as we allow ourselves to be. A bit of a warning though, Camel Trips never end, they merely change form.

About that village

I think it's good, important even, for parents to have friends and/or family of all genders. These can be friends, other partners, biological family and/or other people. I mean people who you have a logical family connection with.

Just 28 years ago today, it was the other women in my life who were there for my sons and I, after the car accident that killed Cindy and hospitalized two of the three children she and I had. I had one male friend who was a notable exception, his name was Don. My other male friends either were clueless, or perhaps horrified that they too could suddenly be in a position of raising their children in the event of the sudden death of their mother.

My own mother had died about five years before and Cindy's mother was only good at criticising. It was the other women in my life, that group of people, many of whom some thought it was inappropriate for a married person to have; they were my village. They worked hand-in-hand with my sister and my niece in helping do what had to be done when we had to make funeral arrangements while two children are in the hospital.

That I think is one of the strongest arguments for poly. It creates bonds. Your polycule can become your village. It's not about sex. It's about connection and commitment. You can do it with dear friends too. But, it needs to be done. Especially when there's kids involved.