About that village

I think it's good, important even, for parents to have friends and/or family of all genders. These can be friends, other partners, biological family and/or other people. I mean people who you have a logical family connection with.

Just 28 years ago today, it was the other women in my life who were there for my sons and I, after the car accident that killed Cindy and hospitalized two of the three children she and I had. I had one male friend who was a notable exception, his name was Don. My other male friends either were clueless, or perhaps horrified that they too could suddenly be in a position of raising their children in the event of the sudden death of their mother.

My own mother had died about five years before and Cindy's mother was only good at criticising. It was the other women in my life, that group of people, many of whom some thought it was inappropriate for a married person to have; they were my village. They worked hand-in-hand with my sister and my niece in helping do what had to be done when we had to make funeral arrangements while two children are in the hospital.

That I think is one of the strongest arguments for poly. It creates bonds. Your polycule can become your village. It's not about sex. It's about connection and commitment. You can do it with dear friends too. But, it needs to be done. Especially when there's kids involved.