Compersion - terms not specific to polyamory

 I think it's great that folks in the polyamory community come up with great terms to communicate dynamics in human relationships that were previously difficult to describe. It annoys me though, when sometimes they claim that those terms only apply to polyamorous relationships.

For example, this is how I explain "compersion" and jealousy. In my opinion, compersion is that happy feeling you get when you find out your best friend got vaccinated. Jealousy is what you feel when you can't get a vaccination appointment yourself then go on social media and see a picture of your happy best friend hugging their grandma; even though you're happy for them too. Moral of the story: compersion and jealousy are two separate things not polar opposites on a spectrum and not polyamory specific.

For Lovers and Fighters

 "One of my goals in thinking about redefining the way we view relationships is to try to treat the people I date more like I treat my friends — try to be respectful and thoughtful and have boundaries and reasonable expectations — and to try to treat my friends more like my dates — to give them special attention, honor my commitments to them, be consistent, and invest deeply in our futures together."

— Dean Spade, For Lovers and Fighters (2006)

A quest for knowledge

Sometimes a quest for knowledge finds the most you will know is the people you ask don't have the vocabulary to tell you.

Love Without Sex by Sophie Lucido Johnson, Review

I have just finished this awesome Audible Original: Love Without Sex by Sophie Lucido Johnson. It really explores the relationship of love and sex by looking at folks in both the polyamory (many+love) community and the asexual community and exploring the Venn Diagram of where those circles intersect. This raises lovely questions about love, sex, platonic relationships and friendships and the assumptions we make and how we experience and value all these beautiful human experiences. I highly recommend this!

Love is love

Love is love. Love is many things and one thing. Love is a shape shifter. We love our family, our deities, our pets, our partners, our friends and ourselves. We love each differently, we each love differently and love each one differently at different times. There is no litmus test that applies to all people or even to ourselves. To define love and say “this is love” is to restrict it and to create a way to say to others “that which you’re experiencing as love is not love.” The only definition of love for me that makes sense is, love is love.

Polyamory as an orientation

A snippet from a recent conversation, "we live in a culture that tells us to love all our siblings, all our parents, all our children, all our pets with all our heart but also tells us loving only one person romantically is the only way you can love romantically. That's not true for many people, simply not true. It's not true for me. Nothing I can do can change that."

Skinny Love

Thinking about skinny love and the many ways we turn away from love's potential because we lack imagination to see what could be.