This is my opinion:
There is currently the word polyamory. As a noun it is recognized as meaning the state or practice of having more than one open romantic relationship at a time. In other words, under this definition, polyamory means a lifestyle, that often is assumed to include sex as well as emotional attachment with multiple partners.
For many of us "poly" is defined as being something else too. Folks are recognizing that some of us are incapable of being romantically attached to just one person over a long period at a time. We commonly say we are “wired poly.”
Being "wired" implies a (relationship) orientation. Orientations are facts. Facts are facts, feelings are feelings, no matter what the responding lifestyle is, no matter whether they are ethical or not and that may or may not include sex. Of course this does not absolve people of responsibility for their actions. It may provide context however.
As someone who is pushing 60 I can assure you this "poly wiring" did not kick in 20 years-ish ago when Morning Glory Zell coined the word polyamory. Before the 1990s kicked in, wired poly folks usually either cheated or stuffed it; or both. Many, maybe most, still do. Rarely then were folks able to live a poly lifestyle.
The problem is many folks do not consider folks who are “wired poly” cheaters or “wired poly” stuffers as poly people. Therefore I propose a new term for “wired poly” people.
Multiamory - an orientation that reflects the involuntary inability of a "multiamorous" person to be romantically emotionally attached to just one person over a long period at a time, no matter what their lifestyle either romantically or sexually. Multiamory, as used here, is not a synonym of polyamory. But it is a synonym of the term "wired poly."
Here are some of the possible expressions of mutltiamory. Remember, the focus here is on emotional "romantic" attachment, not sex. Since this about orientation open consent cannot be a defining factor:
- Multiamory
- A multiamorous person in a romantic situation with one or more other multiamorous persons that's like an open polyamorous lifestyle that may, or may not, include sex on the part of some or all of the people involved where both parties have romantically intimate emotional attachments outside the arrangement.
- Multi-monoamory
- A multiamorous person in a relationship with an emotionally monogamous (monoamory?) person. Examples can include a traditional monogamous relationship, in all sexual aspects, relationship where one person has but does not act on intense romantic feelings outside the relationship. It can also include "swingers" who are both open sexually, where only one person has romantic emotional attachments outside the arrangement that the one person keeps to themselves.
- Multi-cheater
- A multiamorous person living an emotionally monogamous (monoamory) lifestyle, but with one or both parties having secret romantic loves that are more than crushes, and that may or may not include sex. This, as an example, is often called "an emotional affair."
