Sunday, February 24, 2019

Rage as passion

I remember when I was a child, an abused child in the 1960s, hearing about brutality, rage and even homicide against family members being called "crimes of passion." My father was so "passionate" that my older brother, to this day, describes his favorite memories of our father as being when dad was gone.

I think for some people rage becomes so twisted with passion that it becomes the same thing for them. Rage becomes passion. Rage becomes their orgasm. For people raised with that, it becomes normal. It becomes home.

Wednesday, February 6, 2019

My beloved ghosts

When we fall in love with someone and they depart from our lives, we still love them. At least, I do. But, it changes. If the separation is through death or irreversible estrangement and they are gone in a final way, especially. All beings change over time. They change as we change. They change as our memories change. They change as our perspectives change. We love that part of our departed loved ones that's remained in us. We love the spirit of them that fused with our own spirit. Knowing that everything changes, if my own departed loved ones were to reappear in my life, would they be recognizable? When I look on my own beloved ghosts. It's like the part of them in me has become separate entities, still separate from me but separate from my actual loved ones too. My beloved ghosts are neither me nor my departed loved ones. My beloved ghosts that come to me now, and then again, and again, are my own and their own. I cherish them just as they are. I cherish them just as they have become.

Tuesday, February 5, 2019

An infinite number of buckets

I feel this essay mirrors biases and paranoias of our society. The essay seems to me to round loving someone other than our partner up to being infidelity. Why? Life is short. What's wrong with loving many people?
It defines "real" love and tells us what's "real" and what's "fake" love. Whatever doesn't fit the author's love definition is labeled fake. Maybe the author is speaking what's his truth, applied to him. But, what gives anybody the right to tell other people their feelings are fake? That's shaming! How people experience love can be very different from individual to individual.
Love is not a pizza. Love does not run out if you share it. There's not only two buckets, the friend bucket and the lover bucket. In my experience there's an infinite number of buckets. I love so many people, many sweetly, many dearly and my spouse is free to do the same.
I think love is what we should be embracing and not fleeing from. Our world needs more love, not less love.