Advice - should I tell him I'm poly?

First I hope you bring it up. But, be prepared for this, it will likely never be the same between you two after you do.

Even if he says no, hell no. He may not trust you around male friends again. You gotta be prepared for that.

You gotta ask yourself some questions: Is that a price I am willing to pay for being honest about who I am? If he says no, hell no, will I want to stay in my marriage? Being poly and living a poly lifestyle are two sides of the same coin. If he says no, hell no, will at least being honest about my relationship orientation and desires be enough if I don't get to live it?

On the other hand, if you don't ask, he will never have the opportunity to say yes.

My Life on the Swingset: Review

Last night Cooper S. Beckett signed my Kindle. Cooper was at Good Vibrations on Polk Street in San Francisco reading excerpts from his book, My Life on the Swingset. I read this book shortly after it came out and I have heard Beckett on the Swingset Podcast, and other podcasts, I have listened to.

Beckett did not look like I pictured him. Of course not! Mostly, that's why I went, driving over 120 miles in order to put a face to the voice, to the book. He looked like someone I could sit down and have a beer with. I didn't expect that. I hope my questions did not sound too inane.

About the book - I really liked Beckett's book, way more than I expected to. I told him that. He said that's what he likes most to hear.

What I didn't expect was the spirituality angle toward the end of his book. I see that too in the sex positive movement. To me it is spiritual, and so much more.

What we call sex positivity; in my opinion it's not just about sex, or love, or even spirituality. It's a liberation movement, in my opinion. It's a movement that set me free from my own guilt, shame and regret I felt over my own past, over my own non-monogamy, over my own passion, love, guilt, jealousy, possessiveness and insecurity over my humanity.

Sex, passion, love, emotion (yea, I am poly); all of these are part of what we call being human. This is how we bond, how we communicate. The powers of oppression have a stake in making us feel guilt, shame and regret over our own humanity. That's how they get Kansans to vote those to power folks against the interest of Kansans. Their message is, you are a perv, vote for us and we can give you salvation. They know, being a perv is being human. Knowing that, and manipulating that, is an evil act. Knowing that, and accepting that, and celebrating that, is a super power. 

Free people to be human, to love who they love, to have sex bound only by consent, free people from guilt and shame and you cannot control them. This, in my mind, is the sleeper liberation movement of the 21st century. In my opinion, this is what the sex positive movement does. I think Beckett gets that. This is such an exciting time to be alive and Beckett's book is part of that wave.

This's is why I think Beckett's book is so good, it's important. It's not just a book about swinging, this is a book about being free to experience the human experience in its totality and bliss.

This book is about freedom for me, freedom to be authentic to our human sometimes pervy nature. Freedom to connect just the way we are, now that's spiritual! That's exactly why we often say "oh God" just as we slip into orgasm...