My review of The Price of Salt, by Patricia Highsmith

This was one of the best books I have ever read. The quality of writing is rich and layered like a glass of fine red wine. It is intelligent and full of passion in and of the story.

Salt, as I read it, is a metaphor for passion, love and companionship - the kind person who normative people often call "the one." So the title translates to, the price of being with the one.

This book is an important book on so many levels. I think it is a story that poly people need to pay attention to.

According to Wikipedia:

The Price of Salt (later republished under the title Carol) is a 1952 romance novel by Patricia Highsmith, first published under the pseudonym "Claire Morgan".

At the time homosexuality was a crime and just being a lesbian could be enough to cost a woman custody of her child. The topic was so sensitive the author had to use a pseudonym (as so many of us, myself included, do in Polyland).

In the book, Carol Aird and a woman named Therese become lovers. While, at the same time, Carol and her estranged husband Harge are going through a divorce. Carol and Harge have a young daughter, Rindy. The book is about Carol's relationship with Therese and how that romance is used as a weapon by Harge, in their divorce, to take Rindy away from Carol.

The Price of Salt is a wonderful love story, and so much more. In terms of same sex relationships, it also tells the story of how bad things were for same sex couples, how far we have come and how cultural values can destroy, instead of reinforce, loving families that are not culturally normative.

We can look back on history and say, "shame on them then." But, these kinds of attacks still go on involving people who love differently.

Gracie X, an excellent mom, went through a similar court battle as chronicled in her book Wide Open. Like Harge in The Price of Salt, Gracie's partner Oz's estranged spouse went after Oz and tried to block his custody rights because of his relationship with Gracie. This kind of stuff still happens.

Knowing what Gracie and Oz and their kids went through and knowing that this kind of story is not just history, but in other contexts is political science, made The Price of Salt especially poignant for me.

I see a real similarity in the plot behind both of these books. They are both love stories with lovers, who are good parents, battling a sex negative culture. I strongly recommend both books!

My review of A Life Less Monogamous, by Cooper S. Beckett.

Ryan and Jennifer are a couple who’s monogamous marriage is growing sexually stale. They meet a swinger couple and decide to do something bold. In the process they discover themselves.

This is the story line in A Life Less Monogamous – a novel about swinging by Cooper S. Beckett.

When people ask me about opening up their marriage, I advise them to imagine what it’s going to be like; then be prepared for the experience to be unlike anything they have imagined.

For Cindy and I, like Ryan and Jennifer in the book, ethical non-monogamy was an amazing journey of sexual as well as almost spiritual discovery of others and of ourselves. For me, it continues to be.

Cooper’s book is very human. It touches on the raw feelings and yes, emotions, that are often brought up by the various forms of non-monogamy. If you are already ethically non-monogamous, read this book and be prepared to ask yourselves new questions about your experiences. I know I did.

If you are monogamous, considering non-monogamy, this is a must read. It’s a great book even though it’s not a how-to manual.

If I have one minor nit is there seems to be an emerging narrative of non-monogamy stories embracing non-monogamy as a cure for relationship bed death. Yes, it can be that. I am concerned that this may emerge as building a use case for non-monogamy as a prescription, rather than non-monogamy being seen as an opportunity for fulfillment and discovery and authenticity as I believe non-monogamy can be.

Thank you Cooper S. Beckett, this is a great book. I think we need more ethical non-monogamy fiction. Stories like this build a case for ethical non-monogamy not only being possible, but also for ethical non-monogamy providing an opportunity for growth.

I may have to get Cooper to sign my Kindle, again.

Imagine

Imagine seeing the beauty and virtues of a beloved and letting go of how their strengths might meet our needs or how their beauty might make us look better.

Imagine seeing another in a clean light of love, without enumerating the ways in which that person does and does not match up to the fantasy we carry around of our perfect mate or dream lover.

Imagine meeting another person in the freedom and innocence of childhood and playing together, without plotting how to make this person give us the kind of love we wish we could have gotten in our actual childhood.

-- The Ethical Slut

Thank you Multiamory for posting this to Facebook.

My reply: This is wonderful. It's been a long time since I read this book and I had forgotten this. Sometimes it's so heartbreaking being poly. Sometimes I can't believe how lucky we are to be able to love people like this.