My sweet friend Dana is afraid that at some point my wife Sofia will pull the plug on our relationship. Dana feels like there is a sword of damocles hanging over her and that wonderful connection we have. So far Sofia consents and has accepted her presence in my life, and the fact that we love each other, but is becoming more hesitant about it as we get older. I have assured Sofia I love her and intend to spend the rest of my life with her.
I recently finished reading The Game Changer: A Memoir of Disruptive Love by Franklin Veaux. That book introduced me to the relationship's bill of rights. The first of these is "to be free from coercion, violence and intimidation."
This applies to all relationships, no matter how we categorize them. This led me down a different path. Dana and I love each other but we have not had sex in decades.
We live far apart and I stay with her for a day or two every couple of months. I have been thinking for years about how to categorize this relationship. It's physically tender and emotionally intimate. I call it a romantic friendship. She has called it an emotional affair. Frankly, I am tired of applying labels that do not stick so well.
I am sliding more and more toward Relationship Anarchy.
I have assured my sweetie that if anybody, including my wife, attempts to veto and/or otherwise coerce me from seeing her; I will not be so manipulated. It's not the label that matters it's the love we share no matter how it's expressed.
I identify as poly and have lived a poly lifestyle in the past, but not so much now. My wife and sweetie identify as mono. Now I am thinking, should I identify as a relationship anarchist?
What do you think?
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