Being the fat kid

I was terrorized in Intermediate School (now called Middle School). I was the fat kid. I will never understand why some people are so offended by the shape of other people’s bodies.

There was a pack of bullies with one alpha bully leading the pack. They terrorized me verbally and physically. There was a TV show named Maya around this time. The show featured an elephant named Maya. At school I was called Maya.

I was afraid of the bully pack. In the yard where we went to recess there was a little building, a shed really, where the grounds worker kept his tools. It was kept unlocked. I would hide in that shed during lunches and recess. One day the pack of bullies found out where I was. They surrounded the shed and taunted me to come out. I hid. The alpha bully opened the door. I was trapped. In the building there was an open bag of white lime that they used to mark the field for sports. I grabbed a handful of lime and threw it in the alpha bully’s. Lime is caustic. He screamed in pain. I ran out past him.

The bully pack told me they were going to kill me after school. Literally, kill me. I believed them. I hid and snuck home. Neither the school nor my parents would do anything. “They will have to work it out,” they said. Normally I walked the mile or so to and from school. My older sister was around 23 at the time. After I told her of the threats. She made the time to come pick me up and drive me home after school. I don’t remember how this whole situation ultimately resolved itself. All my life, people have been offended by my body. By other bodies too. My body is not something I should have to apologize for or change for the benefit of others. I refuse to shame myself or others. My body is not an apology.