Sunday, January 17, 2016

Memories are not what used to be

I have been wondering a lot about memories of relationships & how they're affected by outcomes. That's one of the reasons I love journaling. Journaling not only gives you the ability to go back and check on how you describe an event when it is fresh but also to see how my recollection of a time of my like evolves based on where I am when I am doing the writing. I have come to the conclusion that memories are much more about where my head is at when I am doing the remembering than where it was when I was living what I am remembering.

We have just started watching the Showtime series The Affair. One of the important parts of the show's narrative is the concept of memory bias. It makes me wonder about my own memories. Much of this has been written about in this blog.

I have heard most couples who divorce have very different memories of the marriage that ended. I have seen how a couples memory of the first stages of their marriage changes from when they are happily married to later when they are bitter divorcees. All I can do is characterize things as I remember them, tell the truth as I remember it and acknowledge there is a weakness in that.

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