Cindy had adopted a religion in her teens that was conservative, fundamental and judgmental. At the same time she was a very vibrant, sexy and sexual young woman. Cindy worked as a nude model. She would go on dates with other men. She also began to realize her sexual attraction to other women.
A few times we would literally invite friends over and maybe have an orgy on Saturday night and get up and go to church Sunday morning as a family. We sowed our wild oats on Saturday night and Sunday morning prayed for a crop failure.
I am not saying there is anything wrong with this. I do know that she started leading more and more of a double life and feeling guilt and self-shaming herself over this duality about now. At this time I was okay with the double life we were leading as long as I could have my wife Cindy and Mary too.
I went to church with Cindy because that was what she wanted to do. This was late in the 1970s. We were too young to know how needless and destructive shame could ultimately prove to be.
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