Jealousy and I

Jealousy for me has been a strange companion. It’s like the devil on one shoulder with the compersion angel on the other. I remember when we were young having a jealousy cow over Cindy wearing short short skirts. Then, not much more than two years later I had no problem with Cindy being a nude model and enjoyed it when Cindy was having sexy times with others and I was able to be there, even more when we were doing threesomes. Both Mary and Cindy were with other guys during the time I was with them in those days. I was with them in three or moresomes with other guys.

Still, I did not outgrow my jealousy for a long time. I’ve struggled with jealousy and weird feeling over girlfriends exs when I was single after Cindy died.

Jealousy was a strange illogical companion, especially in the early times. When I have been jealous of an ex or a paramour of a partner I have felt (for me) the best thing was to meet the person who was the source of my jealousy. My metamour becoming real is a good thing for me. Usually the jealousy is over someone I have never met. Once they became real, and not a myth, my jealous abates.

Most women don’t think their men want to know details about the others in their lives. Not me, not knowing was worse. My jealousy is fueled by myth and mystery.