What did I learn?

Looking back on all this, writing this blog, has brought back a lot of memories. I asked myself what did I learn from all this that I can reflect on now, over 30 years later?

At the time all this happened Polyamory was so inconceivable that there was not even a word for it. For a lot of the years after Mary and I broke it off I just thought of it as something weird we did in the 70s. I still loved Mary deeply even after she remarried and I stayed married to Cindy.

She was still both Cindy and my best friend and after Cindy died in a late night car accident, Mary was the first person I called. I remember telling her, "I love you. I have some bad news. I need your help." I think she just said, "Oh God...Oh God...Oh God." She and her husband drove through the night to be there to be with me and to help.

Mary had a heart attack and died a decade later.

This was a love that most people would not understand. It was a lifelong love and it rents my heart when I think of how much it hurts that they are both gone.

As much as it hurt, knowing I can give my whole heart to more than one person at a time has given me strength to go on. I did not have to divorce my love for Mary and Cindy to let others into my heart. When I remarried there was whole table of special people at my wedding. Mary was still alive then and she was there too.

One of my then teenage children called it the ex-girlfriend table. They were not all ex’s. I heard it was the most fun table at the wedding.

I learned there is more to love than I ever imagined!